St Lucia, Day 7: Around the pool and bye-bye

We were awake at 7.30 and headed down to breakfast at 8.15. We booked a temporary room to get changed and shower between check-out and our pick up.

I decided I should do something active and so went down for Jaffrey's pilates class in 'Lulu's Cabana' at 9.30. He was a surprisingly good instructor, and I enjoyed the class quite a lot.

Back to the room for a final pack up, fill in the comments card, and we were ready to check out before 11, leaving our bags outside the room, but putting a few things behind the desk as well. I mentioned to the receptionist that I had some feedback for Dean, and she rang him and made an appointment for me to speak to him at 11.30.

So we went briefly to the pool, and nabbed one of the big beds, which was tricky for Christian to get in the shade on, and then it was time for me to go back to up to meet Dean. He listened carefully to everything I said, about the noise, the poky, dark bathroom, and about not being told about orientation. There were planned renovations that would take care of most things, which is good news. As a gesture of goodwill, he decided to give us our room back for the rest of the day, which I wasn't expecting, but was grateful for.

I went back to the pool for a time, then Jaffrey came by with our room key. We decided it was close enough to lunch to leave the pool, so we collected the luggage we'd left at reception and went back to the room around 12pm, put the aircon back on, and went to our final lunch soon after.

Then there was nothing else to do but go back to the pool. I tried to take some photos of the hummingbirds - they weren't bad considering I only had a stock lens.

Time went quickly, though, and we soon had to go for a final shower and pack, and back to reception to wait for our transfer.

The pick up was scheduled for 4pm, but our driver was there early, at 3.50. We had a weird journey to the airport - the car had very dark tinted windows, which made it hard to see the road, and we came upon an accident that had just happened.

We arrived at the airport just after 5pm. There was no one there - we'd heard that the other flight due to leave that day had been cancelled due to illness. We dropped our bags at the counter, which was extremely straightforward, and went to the lounge. It was totally empty too.

The lounge had a full bar, but fairly limited food options - it was all we needed, though. It filled up as time went on.

I went back out into the terminal to look for presents for work folks, and settled on some outrageously expensive rum cake, then we ate and drank in lounge. The lounge was odd - there was a very rude French couple who insisted on watching loud videos on their phone and being horrible to the man behind the bar.

We went to the gate in plenty of time, though the flight was late boarding. I think I slept for a lot of the flight, though I forgot to pack my ear plugs in my hand luggage. I discovered that wrapping a blanket around my head was pretty good at blocking out noise and light. Christian had to wake me for a fairly unimpressive breakfast. And then we were at Gatwick.

The end.

St Lucia, Day 6: Vigie Beach

We set the alarm for 8am because we had nowhere to be. Yay! Breakfast.

We decided to walk into Castries again to see the market in full operation. It was very bustling, with everything from clothing to souvenirs to fruit and veg to street food. I had a quick look for clothes to buy (I hadn't really brought enough), but everything was quite expensive.

In the market, we were approached by a lot of friendly but insistent stall holders. I bought vanilla essence for Catherine, and looked for some sea glass for Heather. The stalls seemed to go on forever.

We walked around a little way to the supermarket for my compulsory research mission, and bought lemon, lime and bitters, plantain chips, and found vanilla essence much more cheaply. Oops. I got some more for Catherine. I forgot to buy presents for the folks at work.

We walked around a bit further, towards the cruise port, but only found more markets, and a dead end. Then we headed back to Bel Jou for lunch.

We'd booked the 1.45 van to Vigie Beach, and it turned up as planned to pick us and a few others up. There was a designated pick up time of 4.15 and we confirmed this with the nice driver.

He dropped us at the far end of the beach, behind the airport, and left us with a man who directed us to sun beds. There wasn't much space on the sand, and the sun was behind us, but we settled in, with Christian finding shade next to my sun. There were a few characters looking after sunbeds, one who called himself Jack Sparrow, who bantered with us.

It was also windy, not particularly warm, and there was a palm tree periodically blocking my sun. We went for a little swim, and while the water was nice enough, had weed in it. It certainly wasn't the best beach we've been to, though it was nice to experience it. I did some reading.

When it cooled down, we moved from the beach up to the bar behind - Christian got a beer and some plantain chips. The van came back to pick up on time at 4.15, and we headed back to the hotel for a shower and to get changed.

We had a wander around the grounds and took some photos, as it was our last night. Awww.

Tonight was the planned Caribbean barbecue dinner around the pool, so the buffet wasn't open as usual. We found a table in the corner of the pool area, and then it started to rain. We moved to a table under an umbrella and the staff scurried around trying to dry everything and move people to dry tables.

I got us some cocktails - the guy behind the bar decided to make me one to match my hair, which I accepted, though Christian was wiser. My cocktail was awful, as it was mostly blue curacao.

The food was an incredibly impressive spread - loads of meat on the barbecue, loads of salads and exciting accompaniments. We had some white wine. There was a steel drum band playing popular classics, which was quite nice. Dean joined in with them for a time. Dessert was especially impressive, and I had way too much - but they had an amazing coconut cream pie. Mmm.

Then the real entertainment started. A dance troup put on a show for us, which involved fire, while Jaffree put in annoying commentary over the top. They were quite good, and they periodically grabbed an unfortunate soul to dance with them. Then one of the men decided to get me up for audience participation. I had to hold a fire stick while the man blew it into the air. It was very hot, and a little scary. It was fine, though.

Once that was over, we headed to the room, and the disco started, which was much louder than had been reaching us from the rooftop bar. Oh well. To add insult to injury, the telly wouldn't work for us, either. Went to bed at 10pm.

St Lucia, Day 5: Boats, Bean to Bar and boiling mud

We set the alarm for 7am again. Carpe diem and all that. Breakfast.

Pick up was at 9am. A largish group were all going to the tourist port, which was right near the cruise ship terminal, though we all got on different catamarans for different tours run by the same company.

We found a seat on our crowded cat on the bow next to a couple from NY state, who were very chatty. Christian fixed their camera for them.

The journey was quite leisurely, and we tried to pick out the places we'd seen from the road, sometimes successfully. There was a certain amount of commentary, for instance, they pointed out the most exclusive resort on the island.

We got off the cat at Soufriere in regimented tour order, and our group was herded onto a van driven by Desmond - I was in the front. We went uphill to the south of the city in the same direction we'd gone to the botanic gardens, but this time to the Hotel Chocolat Rabot Estate.

It looked a bit tired, but was still very impressive. There were cacao trees on the approach, and we caught glimpses of bungalows on the hill behind. One day, when we have too much money, we'll stay there.

The group moved into the open-air restaurant, and found seats. The first thing we did was to order lunch off the set menu, and then we had time to visit the very posh toilets, look over the restaurant railings onto the infinity pool, and take photos of Petit Piton, which was *just there*. I noted that there was a chocolate martini on the cocktail menu. I resisted the temptation.

We all went to a different building, where a long table was set up with chocolate-making paraphernalia, and we met our instructor, Merle, who was amazing in every way. She shouted everything over the racket of chocolate making, and made sure she was mean to the smart-arses. It was hilarious.

She told us about harvesting the cocoa pods, and passed one around so that we could see what the cocoa beans looked like. They were an odd, white, slimy affair inside a big shell. We put one bean in our mouths and were warned not to bite into it. It was kind of sweet, but nothing like chocolate. She talked about the process of harvesting, drying, and making the butter and the nibs from that product.

Now to the making. The first thing we did was to grind the cocoa nibs, which was an incredibly physical exercise. But amazingly, the nibs ended up as a moist paste by the time we were finally finished. Then we added the cocoa butter, and stirred the mixture for another age. When it was finally glossy, we added however much sugar we wanted. No sugar resulted in a super high cocoa concentration, and the more sugar we added, the lower it got. I added quite a bit to mine, and probably ended up with something around 40%.

Once we were happy (mine was very thick at this point), we poured the chocolate into our fancy HC moulds, and the staff put greaseproof paper over them, marked them with our names, and took them away to set.

So all we had to do was go back to the restaurant for lunch. It came out very quickly - first there was cocoa bread with various dips (some more chocolatey than others), and then the main - I chose a very tasty beef burger - and then dessert, which was an outstanding chocolate mousse for me. Christian's dessert was a piton lookalike, with a meringue mountain. Christian also had a rum cocktail.

Sadly, we had to leave, and so we trekked back to the van, driving the back way on minor roads to. . .Sulphur Springs again - what? We skipped the tour, as we'd done it. Then back in the van to go a little way down the hill to have a mud bath, though Christian declined that very great pleasure.

We left our clothing on tables, and went in our swimwear to first soak in the warm water. It was almost too hot to begin with. Then, up onto the platform above, under the bridge, where we were given first a bucket of pale mud to cover ourselves with, and then a bucket of dark mud to decorate ourselves with. I decorated myself as best I could, and helped a few other folks get themselves covered. We stood while it dried in the sun, and watched a French tour group have rude messages daubed on them by their tour guide. Christian took some photos from above. Then, once baked, we went back into the warm pool to wash off the mud. I could feel already that my skin was feeling smooth as a result. Then back to dry off (we weren't allowed a shower because that would take away the healing power of the mud), and get dressed.

Then it was back into the van, and back to the port in Soufriere. This time, we had to get back onto a different cat, which was already mostly full, and find a lifejacket and a spot to sit. Once underway, we headed south around the point to a spot between the Pitons to snorkel. We had to wait ages to get fins, and I was chilly and unhappy to begin with, but the sun came out, and I relaxed, and I saw lots of amazing fish. Many were similar to what we saw in Thailand - sargeant majors, rainbow parrotfish, black on top/white underneath, brain coral, puffer, Christian saw pipe fish. Very nice.

Back onto the cat, and once we were underway and bound for Castries, Christian persuaded me to go onto the trampoline in the bow. It was actually quite fun, and not much water was coming over. They served food and drinks, and Christian brought me some. The rum cocktails were dangerous.

We spoke to a nice couple from San Diego who'd recently been married - the woman had coloured hair not unlike mine (we bonded over colour transfer difficulties), and she was in a tech job not unlike Christian's. They put some music on, which was quite fun.

There was a drop off in Marigot Bay, where it rained, and was just about dark. After Marigot Bay, it got a bit choppy, and the skipper sped up. And they turned the music up. Coming back to Castries harbour we were hit by rain and gale winds, which I found very unpleasant - I was freezing. We collected our chocolate and headed straight to the right bus, and straight to Bel Jou. Once there, I jumped into the shower to warm up (and cheer up). It didn't take long. It had been a great day.

We went for a buffet dinner, though we didn't need much after the food on the boat. Then we booked a beach shuttle for the next day. As usual, we watched telly and went to bed.

St Lucia, Day 4: Rainforest

We set the alarm for 7am again, and went down to another great breakfast.

Our pick up was scheduled for 9am, but Cheryl messaged to say that it had been changed to 8.25. After collecting us, the van made a pick up at James's Morgan Bay resort, which looked nice. We were joined by three other couples - an Indian couple from Boston, a British couple, and a Canadian couple from Manitoba.

The van turned up the hill just near James's, and into the rainforest. It was quite a long drive to get to our destination - we went through Babonneau, which was interesting as it was just ordinary locals living their lives. The road went up and down significantly before we got there.

At the adventure place, we picked up our tickets, signed our lives away on forms, got harnessed and helmeted up, and followed our guide to the practice line. We all passed the chicken test and had our photos taken.

Then we got the 'aerial tram' up the hill, our guide sharing lots of detail about the area and the forest itself. It was a slow journey as we kept stopping to let people on and off at either end.

At the top, we had a fair walk to the first zip line. It was very pleasant to get some exercise. The lines were lots of fun, though I found out that Christian was less than comfortable on the higher platforms and lines. When our guide dared us to zip with no hands, I managed it, though I grabbed on to steady myself straight away. The other folks were fun - we had plenty of time to chat.

The last line was very long and very fun. A great time was had by all. We walked back to the top of the tram, and took a leisurely trip back down - good view to the north of the island, and you could see the sea on both sides (just).

At the bottom, we surrendered our kit and went into the shop. We found some banana ketchup to buy (at inflated price), and got a free drink, but didn't buy the photo they took during the training because no staff wanted to help us.

The van took us back down to Castries, via James's, and back to Bel Jou in plenty of time for lunch. We chose an a la carte lunch around the pool with cocktails - it was sunny and rainy by turns.

We had a lazy afternoon, which may have involved the pool. Then showers, drinks, buffet dinner, telly, loud music, and bed.

St Lucia, Day 3: Road trip to Soufriere

We set the alarm earlier for 7am, given we had to be ready earlier, but I think we were awake before it went off again. Another lovely breakfast, with our now familiar scavenging friends, the Antillean bullfinches.

Back in the room, we collected our things and went to reception to wait. Our pick up was due at 9, though it was late arriving. We were finally collected by Stan, who had gone via the port to collect other guests who were off the same cruise ship.

We drove through Castries, with Stan pointing out notable civic buildings and sights.

Our route took us back up the same windy road behind the town, before stopping at a lookout for photos. Stan warned us about the dodgy hawkers, and he wasn't wrong. After going back down the far side of the hill, we went past the mass oil storage facility - supertankers from other countries (Venezuela, Cuba, Trinidad) drop their loads there and the oil is shipped in smaller tankers to other Caribbean islands.

Then we stopped alongside a huge banana plantation, to talk about how they grow (suckers beside older plants) and about how the industry has grown from a sugar-cane focus.

After another bit of a drive, we stopped on the hill behind Marigot Bay to talk about how the other half live and the films that were made there (most notably, Rex Harrison's Dr Dolittle).

After more of a drive, we then went down to the water's edge in Anse La Raye to look at market stalls and use the facilities. It's a fishing town with a seafood festival every Friday night, and is very down to earth. A toothless man greeted us as we got out of the van. We didn't buy anything, but were grateful for the facilities (where a woman squirted me with soap and poured water over my hands), and had a walk on the beach.

Back on the road, Stan pointed out Ti Kaye on the right, which is a diving and water activites resort, with bungalow-based accommdation, in a marine reserve and sounds amazing. (We later saw it from the water.)

Then just outside Soufriere, we stopped at a lookout to see the Pitons. Amazing. I spotted a cacao tree in the ravine below.

We drove through the town, and then up the other side to the Diamond Botanical Gardens. Stan dropped us off and saw us inside, taking the others to a historical plantation nearby called Morne Coubaril.

We were walking neatly between two large tour groups, so picked a few things up from them, but we were very happy to just potter our way along, looking at all the amazing flowers and plants. There were a lot of spice and nut trees that I'd never seen before, many poisonous. The mace and nutmeg tree was probably the most memorable.

We stopped at a cafe and got muesli bars, and Christian decided to be brave and get some plantain chips. Obsession started! They were delicious. They're made from cooked unripe bananas, and function as potato crisps.

We went on, past the pools, up to the waterfall. It was many interesting colours of minerals, and the stream flowing downhill from it was decidedly grey. We wandered back to the pools, and spotted a 'land' crab minding its own business on a step. Not something you see every day.

And then the heavens opened. We sheltered under a pergoda for a while, but then decided to keep moving. There were more interesting plants on the way out, and there was a pretty blue ceramic fountain that looked rather out of place. They had signs explaining how they compost everything and use natural methods to maintain the gardens. Very nice experience.

At the exit, we found Stan, and jumped back in the van, driving to collect the others. The car park for Morne Coubaril was bus soup.

From there, we went on to the Sulphur Springs park, going past the folks going for their mud baths. We had a tour of the very acrid-smelling active volcanic area, with many steams and boiling mud. Interesting. Our guide told us the story of Gabriel, a local tour guide who fell in the boiling mud and got horribly burnt from the waist down. That feature is now called Gabriel's Hole and no one is allowed anywhere near it.

Turns out that Soufriere sits within the ancient caldera, and the Pitons are plugs on the rim. Hence why they call it a 'drive-in volcano'.

Then back through Soufriere, retracing our steps up the coast to Castries. This road was much more winding than the east road we'd taken from the airport. As we neared Castries, we stuck to the coast road rather than going over the hill, so we could come out at the port to drop the others at their ship. It was interesting to see the port. And then turned back towards our hotel.

I'd been watching the time fearfully, but we were still able to get a buffet lunch, with about 15 mins to spare (they packed up lunch at 3pm). Hooray!

We had a lazy afternoon, playing with photos.

That evening, there was a manager's cocktail party on the roof terrace. We met lots of lovely staff members, spoke to Brandon, Danielle, Dean. Good cocktails, nice canapes, and had our photo taken (which was good technically, but not flattering).

We decided to try the a la carte dinner as we were moderately dressed up. Turns out we needed a booking, but they let us in - we missed orientation because no one told us about it. Dinner was not amazing - we decided to stick to the buffet.

Back to the room, telly, sleep.

St Lucia, Day 2: Castries

We set the alarm for 7.30, but were awake long before then. The St Lucia way of driving, which involves honking your horn every time you approach a corner of any kind, makes it difficult to stay asleep when they do it at 6.15.

We got down to breakfast quite smartly, and were very impressed at the range. There was the full range of cooked traditional breakfast, eggs to order, fruit, yoghurts, cereals, and even local delicacies like saltfish with green figs and local bake. Delicious. Only gripe is that the water they serve for tea is not hot enough to properly steep. But they did have Twinings English breakfast bags on the table, so can't complain too much.

We were in plenty of time to meet the Expedia rep, Cheryl, in the lounge at 9.20 to book excursions. She was lovely, and very knowledgeable. We ended up booking three days out - despite that giving us a fairly busy itinerary, it meant that we got to see all the parts of the island we wanted to see - and asked her a few questions about tipping and whether we'd need East Caribbean dollars. It was possible to change money in Castries, but the banks weren't always obvious.

Back in the room, I did some work I'd forgotten to do on Friday, and we basically relaxed until lunch time.

Lunch in the buffet featured loads of lovely salads and fruit, but also cooked dishes.

On the way back to the room, we asked reception whether we could change some cash there. Thankfully, they could. I persuaded Christian to make it £80 rather than £100, and that saw us through almost perfectly.

After lunch, we decided to wander down to Castries to see what there was to see, despite us not having to change cash any more, or the fact that nothing whatsoever would be open. We walked out of the gate, but got stopped. The security folks wanted to take our details (in case we didn't come back?), which was fine. We plodded down the hill, which wasn't too difficult or dangerous, into Castries, and past the market, and people inviting us into various bars. Absolutely nothing was open, but it was still interesting.

We pushed on to the north, alongside the harbour, saw a crab, and then realised it wasn't very far to walk to the beach from there. So we kept on north until we could see the beach, tantalisingly close, but actually on the far side of the airport, which we had to go a long way east to skirt around. We followed the road to the beach, which was obviously full of locals and didn't actually look that nice. We turned right along the front of a resort, and not seeing any other way back to the road, cut through the grounds of the cheesy Rendez-vous couples resort. It looked a lot more exclusive than Bel Jou. Various staff members nodded and smiled at us on the way through. And then when we got to the gate, we were hassled by their security. How rude!

The walk up the hill from that direction was much shorter than the way down, but a hell of a lot steeper. I got very hot and sweaty and tired and we collapsed back in the room.

It was high time to visit the pool and cool off. So we got our swimmers on, went to the bottom pool and found sunbeds. After a freezing shower, we got in, got out again, and found rum punches. I had my sun, and Christian had his shade. Wins.

The sun was gone behind the main building by about 4.30, so we took ourselves back to the room to shower and change.

Dinner was again preceded by a cocktail, and again at the buffet. Another amazing meal in amazing surroundings.

We watched telly again, which masked the sound of the entertainment for a while. But we still managed to get to sleep while everyone else partied on.

St Lucia, Day 1: Welcome to paradise

We drove south after work and stayed overnight inside the Gatwick terminal, at Bloc Hotel. It was basic, but very convenient, and quite cool, with tablet controls and coloured LEDs. Like a shiny version of Ibis budget.

We set our alarm for 7.30 the next morning, and were out by 8.

Dropped bags, went quickly through security (with our priority pass as a pleasant side effect of booking the lounge) and went through to the lounge.

Had a nice breakfast in the comfortable but full lounge, and a buck's fizz. Christian bought a Samsung smart watch duty free.

Went on the long walk to the gate, but had to wait for it to open, despite the signs saying the flight was boarding.

We boarded, and took our seats as a two near the back of the plane. It was a newly fitted plane and very nice. Take-off and ascent were a little shaky, but smooth enough above the clouds.

Had a drink (the world's strongest vodka and cranberry juice - I had to decant half of it into a second drink) and lunch (macaroni - quite good). Our cabin crew woman was really lovely, and funny. But the woman behind me decided that her touch screen only worked if she jabbed at it to within an inch of its life.

Watched An Affair to Remember (lovely), Ocean's Eight (silly but fun), and a bit of a random Benedict Cumberbatch drug thing, which was making me feel a bit unwell. I do want to continue watching it though, it's an eye-opener! The time was filled up quickly. They brought us a small wrap before beginning the descent.

We flew over lots of seaweed on the approach, and landed with a bit of a bump at Hewanorra. Half the occupants of the plane stayed on board to continue to Grenada, and the rest of us got off, via treadplate stairs on the back of an old, beaten-up farm ute. And then it got better. I was oblivious at this stage, but Christian had been directed to the left to fill in arrival forms (which BA failed to tell us about). We hung around for ages just to get a copy of the form, chatting to other confused travellers (an AA flight had just landed after us). We finally filled them in, and were directed to queue outside a tiny office, while hundreds of others queued in the passport line. We were very confused, but went with it. A brusque woman checked and stamped our forms and passports, and it became clear that we had effectively jumped the huge queue on the other side of the room. Win.

We went out into the chaos outside, and found the Barefoot Tours stand. The woman there was expecting us, and produced our driver, and a welcome letter and brochure. The driver took our bags while Christian visited the facilities.

We were taken to a shiny Lexus, and settled in for the journey. The driver was quiet, but friendly. He pointed out the banana trees, and even a cacao tree. The road was quite minor, and quite winding. One of the first things that struck me was the willingness of the drivers to overtake. It happened all the time.

Our driver offered to stop at a lookout overlooking Dennery Bay, and we took some photos. The journey continued, and we finally got to an intersection, and turned right. The road rose quickly and then descended through a very tight series of switchbacks into Castries. I was sure that the driver had taken us on the scenic route. We saw the cruise ships before anything else.

The 'city', as they called it, was chaotic and shabby. We drove through it, and up the hill behind, through more tight corners. I saw a small animal run across the road in front of us - it looked like a flat squirrel. The driver said it was probably a mongoose. Amazing - I knew then that this was going to be an interesting holiday. And then we were at Bel Jou.

It really was at the top of the hill, and the approach was welcoming, with loads of bouganvillea, and comfortable looking buildings.

At reception, which was open and well tended, we were invited into the lounge behind us, and provided with a cool glass of juice. A nice woman checked us in and gave us our keys. And then said 'you can go'. So we did. Our room was a bungalow (number 3), back near the front gate of the hotel - a member of staff walked our bags along with us and saw them inside.

The room was big, a bit tired, but obviously lovingly prepared for us, with bouganvillea flowers on the bed.

We unpacked into the ample storage space, and went for a wander around the hotel. It was spacious without being huge, and very welcoming and comfortable. We weren't sure what time dinner would be available, and so we got a drink, finding out that the buffet opened about 6.30. It was 6 at that point, so very good timing.

We chose a table, and helped ourselves to the delicious buffet, while brilliant wait staff saw to our drink needs. I think we had Solange looking after us on this first night. She was so lovely.

We were tired, so went back to the room soon after. And then the 'entertainment' started at 9pm. The music was on the rooftop bar level, but was loud enough to distinguish the song and the words. I think it was karaoke. Oh well. We still managed to sleep.