Abu Dhabi: Flight home

We set the alarm for 7.30 again. I was hoping to get to the pool briefly between breakfast and showering. I didn't feel wonderful, so that plan soon went out the window.

We showered and got down to breakfast early again, though I didn't feel like eating much. After finishing the packing, we called for someone to collect our bags, and we went downstairs, even though it was well before our pick up time of 10.30.

We sat for a time in the foyer, watching the world go by. After a while, we decided to take a last turn around the pool/beach area, and I'm glad we did. After six days, I did feel quite attached to the place.

We went back into the foyer, and only a few seconds after sitting down, we were called over by the concierge, as our transfer had arrived 15 mins early. One of the welcome staff made a point of chasing us out the door to say goodbye and to thank us for staying with them. The car was loaded, we took our seats, and we were off.

The journey was quick and easy, and the driver dropped us off at terminal 3. We tried our luck at getting upgraded again, but we didn't have enough points, and they weren't handing them out this time. Oh well. We left our luggage at the business class desk, and continued on through security etc.

On the other side, we went to the Al Reem, and found a quiet corner. It was almost empty, which was a refreshing change. Lunch came out after a while, and we had some chicken biryani and other tasty food. Christian found me some sparkling wine from the bar, but it was nasty Jacob's Creek stuff, so I put juice in it. Problem solved.

We eventually meandered to the gate, being turned away from the business gate entrance by a silly woman. So we went in the other entrance, and got told we should have gone through the other. After a bag check, we took a seat in the exclusive bit, and got called to board before very long. We took our seats and waited. The plane took off a little late, but we still arrived early.

The flight was pretty painless, despite being in economy. The woman next to me kept to herself, and the food was pretty good. Christian and I watched Miss Peregrine's School for Peculiar Children, which was very good. We then watched some Crossing Jordan, and then I eavesdropped on other people's TV screens.

We landed at Heathrow just after 5pm, went through passport control, and then had to wait ages for our luggage. We tried to declare our dates, but no one wanted to talk to us, so we just went through.

A transfer bus to the long stay car park arrived as we walkd to the bus stop, and we found the car easily. Getting out of the car park was interesting, as the number plate recognition didn't work, and then when Christian found the ticket, the machine told us we owed it £157. We pressed the talk button, and the man on the other end let us through.

It was a quick journey up the M25 and M40, and we stopped at Beaconsfield services to get dinner from M&S. Unfortunately, neither of us had the energy for a NYE party, so we settled in for the evening on our own. 28-hour days are long.

THE END

Conclusions

This was a very extravagant holiday. We will be spending a lot less on holidays in 2017.

It is easy to get around in Abu Dhabi - it didn't feel like much of a culture shock. Everyone speaks English (not everyone well), and despite the dress code, could be anywhere in the world.

There is a lot of money there. You can see it everywhere - in the hotels, in the cars, in the malls.

The roads are not as scary as I expected, though we did see two major car accidents in five days.

Any human rights issues or government controls are well buried and not visible to tourists.

It would be nice to go back there, but there's not really a need, given we saw lots on our first visit.

Abu Dhabi, day 5: Kayaking, curry, Etihad Towers, and dhow cruise

I woke up feeling quite rough again this morning, but was determined to enjoy the day. Christian was feeling OK, thankfully. We had breakfast as usual, and got ourselves ready. Christian organised some more towels to take off the premises.

Leaving at about 10, we got a taxi to the Eastern Mangroves - having seen them on our way past on the city tour. The driver wasn't exactly sure where the restaurant was that we were heading for, but he dropped us near the entrance to a hotel, where the staff did know. The hotel staff kindly let us walk through the hotel (the Anantara). It looked quite nice.

The back of the hotel opened out onto a wide boardwalk on the mangroves, and various boats were tied up on the jetties. We found the right restaurant easily, and went to speak to the only kayaking stall set up nearby. It was the right one, and we signed the required forms.

We had about half an hour to kill, so went to find a toilet to get changed, and to get some cash. Then we sat for a while in the pleasant surroundings, while a Japanese family signed up for kayaking as well. It soon became apparent that they were going to be on the same tour as us.

When 11am rolled round, we were taken onto the pontoon, given a life jacket and a paddle, some water, and had a talk about how to propel ourselves in the water. There were two Texan guys on our tour as well, and Christian chatted to them. Christian and I opted for two single kayaks (they were big, open sea kayaks), and we launched one by one, by sitting in our kayaks on a platform and being pushed out by staff. It was lovely on the water, and nice to have a paddle in my hands again.

Our tour guide was a nice bloke, if a bit quiet, and he kept an eye on whether anyone was falling behind. We saw some wading birds, and even some fish in the water. It was a bit smelly and churned up, but OK. We went off to the right, and then turned left around the headland so we were going parallel to the main channel, back the other way. There were other kayakers, and SUP boards, and some weird 'eco-donut' boats - tiny round things with a little electric motor and a roof. But not too many people at all.

After a while following the beach on the right, we went off to the left, into a narrower channel, and followed it for about 20 minutes. The Japanese kids were laughing and screaming and having a great old time. Our guide pointed out the breathing tubes of the mangroves. It got so narrow and winding that we couldn't fit the paddles across, and it became especially difficult when groups were wanting to pass us going the other way. It was fine, though, and opened out eventually, back into the main channel.

We retraced our steps until we got back to a jetty and beach that we'd seen, and pulled up for a break, and a fruit salad snack. We watched some people trying to stand up on an SUP, and mostly failing. Christian had a swim but the water was extremely cold. We headed off again after about ten minutes.

Christian, me, and the two Texans pushed out ahead of our guide, and headed for the pontoon. It was nice to get a bit out of breath. We were helped out of our kayaks, offered a rinse, and dropped off our life jackets. It was a really nice experience, and very glad that we did it.

It was 1pm now, and we were hungry, intending to go straight back to the hotel. Christian pointed out that there were some nice looking restaurants here, and so we assessed the options. We chose a restaurant called Peppermill, which billed itself as 'colonial Indian cuisine'. Odd style to see in Abu Dhabi. I fancied some paneer, and I asked the man about a dish I'd found, but he recommended a different paneer dish - Paneer Makhanwala, I think, in a tomato sauce. I also ordered a mango lassi, which was delicious. Christian ordered a lamb chops dish (Pasliyon Ka Salan, I think) and a pomegranate blush mocktail - that was amazing too. We ordered a saffron pilau rice and a naan between us.

We had mini poppadums with the requisite mango chutney, and the main food came out soon after, served by our friendly man. The food was stunningly good, especially the lamb. The naan was filled with spicy stuff, which gave me a shock. Didn't have much of that. There was plenty of rice to go round. Yum. Our nice man offered me a survey on a tablet, which I thought was very high-tech, and I gave them a good review. It wasn't very expensive, either.

We found a taxi back to the hotel easily, and had a shower, getting ready to go out yet again. The plan was to go up to the observation deck in Etihad Towers to have afternoon tea or a drink. We did the short walk, and passed the shops in the towers, and finally into the foyer of Jumeira. It really was a step up from the Khalidiya Palace. An absolutely huge area, with a lovely view, fountains, gourmet coffee shop, and light-changing chandelier. We sat for a while to absorb the place.

Then went to the desk for the observation deck, but found that it was fully booked. The woman said that there were no reservations available, but she could offer us a 50 AED ticket just to go up the tower to look. That was pretty disappointing, but we wanted to see it, so we grinned and bore it. We got in the lift with a bunch of others, and the woman pushed the button for the 72nd floor and stepped back. The lift was very fast, and my ears popped at least once.

At the top, we stepped out into an area that wasn't actually very big, but extremely high, and a tiny bit scary. There were tables set out for afternoon tea, both around the central lift area, and beside the windows, but between the tables and windows there were wide sill areas where you could stand and gaze. The view was pretty spectacular, and it was a clear enough day to see for miles, though much of it was just desert.

The annoying thing was that there were plenty of empty tables, so I don't think their reservation system works very well. There were a lot like us just looking, though, and it was a little crowded. We did a full circle, taking lots of photos, and then decided to go down again.

Christian thought it would be nice to explore the pool area and beach, which I heartily agreed with. We went downstairs in what we thought would be the right direction, and came across the right spot. There was a sign announcing a charge for non-residents, but we asked to just have a look, and the man said yes. The pool area was large, and well laid out, though at that time of day, the whole area was already in shade. Then we thought it would be nice to have a drink at the pool bar, but we found that they didn't have a useful happy hour.

So we went back to the lobby bar as they did have a proper happy hour (25 AED cocktails). Again, we were the only ones there, and again, the bar was quite funky and nicely decorated. We ordered a cocktail each - a mojito for me (a real one), and a jasmine and lychee martini for Christian. Christian liked his so much (and it disappeared so quickly) that he had another. Bad man.

We decided that we were a little hungry, and given our dinner would be late, we chose a sharing plate of food: calamari, mozarella sticks, tempura prawns on sticks, and chicken wontons. It wasn't cheap, but it was very tasty. The barman was very friendly and chatted to us; he was probably bored given we were the only people there.

We wandered back to our hotel. Our pick-up for the dhow dinner cruise was 7.15, so we had a little time to wait. I took a Stugeron. We went downstairs and waited for the pick up. When no one had arrived after 20 mins, Christian sent Michael a Whatsapp, and when he had no response, he rang Alpha Tours. They said they'd find out and call back. They were based in Dubai, and said that the pick-up was on the way, and that the boat leaves at 8.30. A minibus finally arrived for us just before 8pm, driven by a harassed-looking man who got our room number wrong, but then agreed when I corrected him. Slightly alarming. He took us the short distance to the marina (not the port, as was my assumption) and dropped us off next to a large boat. We guessed we were in the right place at this point.

We boarded, and were shown into a spacious deck with tables arranged around the outside, to a table that had one other couple on it. It wasn't very crowded thankfully, and was quite comfortable and well laid out. They were playing soprano sax Christmas favourites on the PA, which was moderately painful.

The boat left almost immediately (so much for Alpha saying the boat left at 8.30). While it maneouvred out of the marina, I feel a bit queasy, but settled after a time. A man with a tray of drinks came around, and I asked for an orange juice, thinking that's what he had on his tray. Unfortunately, it wasn't, and he scurried off to open some orange juice. Oops. They kept us topped up with water all evening.

Dinner was announced soon after, and we found out that it had been catered by the Hilton. Christian got up to have some. I followed soon after, when I felt better. We started with soup (some kind of vegetable), which was quite nice. Then a salad course, which was just that, really - salad with some bread and hommous. The main was a hotch potch of different styles - I had some pasta, some fish, and some curry. It wasn't the best meal we'd had, but it was OK for a buffet. Dessert was mostly gone by the time I got there, but I had some fruit, and some nice sponge (there was a distinct lack of chocolate things).

As soon as people had finished eating, they started moving upstairs to the open deck, and we followed them not long after the boat had turned around at the port end of the Corniche. I found a seat while Christian got a coffee, and idly watched the lights and the world go by, watching fish jump in the wake. It was lovely. We got back to the marina before 10.

We disembarked, taking a photo of the large boat covered in lights, and found the minibus easily. Strangely, it was much fuller than it had been on the way there. We were dropped off first, thankfully.

Back in our room, we did some packing, then went straight to bed.

Abu Dhabi, day 4: Yas Island and the Hilton

We woke up earlyish on this morning, and looked out the window to see fog. Fog everywhere. We couldn't even see the ground. It was insane. Anyway, we went for breakfast as usual - sitting right near the foggy window. Christian persuaded the hotel to loan us towels to take off the premises, signing his life away in the process.

We got kitted up for a day of watery fun, and went to ask the staff to call us a taxi over. It was a woman driving, which was great to see. She was silent the whole way, though. We asked her about the fog and how often it happens, but she didn't understand the question - I don't think her English was very good.

It was quite a long journey to Yas, through some pretty uninteresting country, including Saadiyat and Al Jubail islands. It was a bit of a wasteland, though difficult to tell through thick fog.

We eventually arrived at Yas Waterworld, and the car park looked mostly empty. Win! We chose the right day. The taxi fare was about 64 AED, so not cheap. Christian left his phone on the seat after getting out. Lucky I spotted it. We took our places in the pre-booked tickets queue. It took ages, but we were finally seen to, and handed our double tickets for Waterworld and Ferrari World.

We were greeted by some oversized cartoon characters at the main entrance, and walked into the shop/changing area. We paid for a locker, and each of us went off to shed our clothes. With everything safely stashed, and a locker band on Christian's wrist, we went in search of fun.

I had felt a little self-conscious in a bikini top and shorts, but I certainly wasn't the most scantily-clad person there, and there were plenty like me. We found some lounges with an umbrella and left our things there. There were private cabanas available for a small fortune, but it wasn't worth it for us, given there were plenty of lounges available.

We didn't really know where to start, so began at the 'beach', which was directly in front of our lounges. The water was unnaturally warm, and the waves were strangely off-putting in rhythm, and I decided I didn't like it, particularly after Christian dumped a giant inflatable ring on my head and dunked me.

We got out and went in search of a ride. We decided on 'Falcon's Falaj' which looked like the 'Snowy River Rampage' at Australia's Wonderland. But the resemblance was superficial. We took our places in the six person round raft with four young guys, and set off. It started off OK, slipping and spinning around inside a big tube, but then it went over an enormous precipice, spraying us with water, and my stomach dropped. And I screamed. Lesson learned. Wasn't going to do that one again.

Next, we headed for the Yadi Yas wave river. It took a while to find the top, and we got on top of a giant double ring and pushed off. It was peaceful, but fairly slow and boring. Every so often, there was an intake wave, and that was fun. We needed something in between.

After some exploring the park, in which we found the kiddie's areas, boarding waves, a pearl diving attraction, and a silly rollercoaster where others could shoot you with water cannons, we decided the best place for us was the Jebel zone.

We made our way there, and decided to go on the Slither's slides. You had to collect a ring at the bottom and lug it all the way up the stairs, and there was a significant queue. At the top of the stairs, there were six choices, and I'd forgotten what each one was. Some had more of a queue than others. I asked a nice man, and he directed me to a mild slide to begin with (the yellow/cream one), which had no queue. I stepped in, sat on my ring, and pushed off when the light went green. It was a nice ride, not scary, but I didn't really like being inside a dark tube. Just before it spat you out into the open, it drenched you with a blinding spray of water. Christian had gone on a fast one, and he enjoyed his.

We went back up to have another go. I couldn't decide which to go on, so my nice man helped me choose the next scariest one, and I was brave enough to try it (I think it was the orange and purple one). I liked this one much more, because you could see where you were going next. I think we had one more go on these.

Christian visited the toilet at this point, and I decided to try the Sebag 'mat race'. It was another long queue, and you had to lug your mat up the stairs. The mats were fitted with large handles at the front, and fairly heavy. In the queue behind me were an Australian man and his daughter. As we got to the top, and the six people ahead of us took their places, I told the girl that she was going to be number 2 this time. She chattered about which ones she'd been on so far.

When it was our turn, we stood in front of our chutes, and the woman explained how to do it. For this one, you had to position your mat in the slide, and when the light went green, launch yourself into the chute from the step. The light went green, and we were off. There were some twists and turns, and then the blinding spray of water, and then a huge drop. We were spat out in lanes, beside our companions, so it was a bit of a race. It was a bit scary, but in a good way. I was keen for another try.

Christian met me at the bottom, telling me that someone had just hit their head, and been assessed medically. Hmmm. I had belted my foot at one point, and could feel a bruise forming. He joined me for another go. I was in lane 2 this time. We took off, and the sudden left turn (which it was too dark to see) made my neck snap over and I hit my head. It wasn't bad - just enough to rattle my brain a little. Still worth doing the ride, especially because I beat Christian. :-)

Both of us felt like we'd had enough by this point, so we made our way back to the beach, had one more dip, and then headed for our lounges. We'd seen a clever swimmers drying mechanism, and stood on the scalding base and pressed the button, but we didn't have any credit on our wrist band. So we went to get changed, and I had a shower. My underwear had stayed with Christian, and he tried to get it to me via a staff member. I was aware of women shouting 'Angela', but I just thought it was a hysterical mother trying to find her child. Anyway, we sorted it out in the end.

As it was time for lunch, we walked to Yas Mall (after asking for directions). It wasn't far, but access was not set up well for pedestrians. It was full sun by now. The entrance was through a department store (Tryano), which Christian insisted would link up to the main mall. Turns out he was right. The mall was quite exclusive, but more laid back and welcoming than the World Trade Center one. We decided on lunch in Shakespeare and Co, which was in a large open square.

We were taken to a table, and seated with menus. The guy who took our order was pretty hopeless. I ordered a 'gone fishing' burger, which was a salmon patty. Can't remember what Christian ordered, but I think he got a kiwi mojito. The service improved from there. An old woman at the next table had her bare feet up on a chair beside me, which dented my appetite somewhat. I did some people-watching while we waited. There seemed to be a trend inside the mall for men to wear their traditional robes with baseball caps. Very odd.

After lunch, we continued on to Ferrari World. Turns out it was joined on to the same building, but we sort of went around the outside, and found all the other places that we could have eaten, in a beautifully laid out, shady area with a stepped fountain. Never mind.

At the entrance to Ferrari World, there was a huge crowd surrounding some people in fancy dress throwing swords around. We hurried past them. I fancied something chocolatey, but failed to find anything suitable.

At the gates, a man tried to help us scan our tickets, but then ran off with them. We called him out, and he apologised and let us through, almost forgetting to give them back. Very silly. Inside, there was a definite winter theme, with snow gently gliding down around us, and children frolicking in white stuff. The building was vast, with soaring internal structure inside a massive sail.

The first thing we did was get an ice cream (rude not to and all that). Then we pottered around, having a look at everything. We lined up for a virtual tour of the Ferrari factory in Maranello, which was interesting. We sat in cars on a rail, which rotated and spun to face whichever screen we were supposed to be watching. Quite good.

There were life-size cars negotiating a life-sized slot track, which we wanted to go on, but the queue was too long. We saw a lot of food outlets, and went into the merchandise store (everything was very expensive). Christian wanted to have a go on the driving simulators, but you either needed to book, or pay a fortune. We went outside to briefly watch the crazy-fast roller coaster. After waiting for about ten minutes, chatting to a British woman, the roller coaster finally came screaming past at an alarming rate. It apparently gets 'launched' and reaches 100 km/h in 2 seconds, with a top speed of 239 km/h. Not for the faint-hearted.

There were some movie screenings, which we decided against, and various other things not very car-related. Finally, we got to look at some actual cars in a show room, which was interesting. We decided we'd seen enough around 5pm, and headed for the exit (via another shop, of course). It was like a theme park first, and Ferrari second, rather than the other way around.

I'd thought about the possibility of maybe calling into the Viceroy for a drink, but we decided it was better to head back to the hotel and prepare for a nice dinner locally.

We asked around about how to get back to the city, as there were a number of buses pulling up. But taxi was the only option. So we went to the taxi rank, and got in one. The man driving us did two U-turns before we even left Yas Island, leading us to believe he was lost. We called him out, and he said that you couldn't go the way he needed to from the direction we'd come. But he actually just used the wrong lane.

The journey was almost as uninteresting as on the way there. We could see clearly now, but the whole area had been reclaimed and was under construction basically. We got back to the hotel without further fuss (the taxi fare was 70 AED, rounded down from 71), and set about choosing a restaurant while we got ready. We'd toyed with the idea of the Japanese restaurant at Jumeira, but when we discovered that the Hilton had a Japanese restaurant as well, with reasonable prices, and that their bar had a cocktail happy hour, the decision was easy. We rang to make a booking for 7.30.

We set off walking at about 6.45, and got there in time for one happy hour drink. The Hilton was a lot more subdued than the Khalidiya Palace, but still very nice. The Bocca restaurant was upstairs, so we walked to the far end and up the stairs, and took our seats in a stylish area with black fringing defining different sections. Over the balcony we could see a bridge over a water feature. Happy hour drinks were half-price, so 25 AED - bargain! I had a very delicious peach bellini, and Christian had an Aperol spritz (bleurgh). We were the only ones in the bar, and the guy was very friendly.

We did have to leave quite quickly to keep our reservation, though (shame, as I'd have loved to stay longer), and we retraced our steps to the main entrance, going outside and along the front to the Toki restaurant entrance. They welcomed us very professionally, and showed us to a table in a booth. It was fairly busy, with a number of takeaway orders going out, but still fairly hushed.

We'd decided that we were going to have the teppenyaki option; I ordered 'shrimp', and Christian ordered the combination ('shrimp', fish, chicken, beef, vegetables). They came with miso soup, salad, and rice. I ordered a cranberry juice, and Christian a pomegranate thing (noting a theme here?). They brought us complimentary sushi while we were waiting, which was very good.

The miso was delicious, and the main course soon followed. We each had a massive plate of food to negotiate, but it somehow wasn't too much. The prawns were slightly disappointing as they were a bit tough, but I'm sure they were fresh. Of the three sauces that came with the food, one in particular was amazing. It tasted like miso and saki or something, but they told me it was 'mustard'. The beef on Christian's plate was particularly outstanding. Really good food. The bill was 391 AED (about £90), but we felt it was worth it.

We walked back to the Khalidiya Palace, and probably watched something before bed. A good day.

Abu Dhabi, day 3: WTC shopping and souk, desert safari

We had another relatively early breakfast, and then explored the hotel gift shops - Christian needed stamps, and was looking for scissors. We found some nice things to buy as presents - a scarf for Heather or Janet, and a really nice silky dining table runner for ourselves. But we wanted to check out some markets before we committed to the purchases.

Christian wasn't feeling very strong, and wanted to conserve his strength for the desert trip, so we agreed to find some markets, but go there and back by taxi. We got ready to go out, and checked with guest services where the best places to find markets were. They confirmed that the World Trade Centre was best, because one tower had a mall, and the other had a good souk.

The hotel staff called a taxi over for us, and we set off. It was a quick and easy (and cheap) journey. We started with the mall, because Christian wanted to go to a pharmacy, and hadn't given up on buying a white linen shirt. The mall was a bit more posh than the Marina Mall. I spoke to the women in a shop that sold Dermalogica, but it was the same price as in the UK. We had a poke around a supermarket, Christian got a coffee at Starbucks, and bought some cold/flu cures from a pharmacy. We saw a stall set up for silly photos, and there was a beautiful falcon with a hood just sitting calmly outside the tent despite the noise. Then we went across the road to the souk.

It was strangely empty and quiet, but there were some good gift shops. The second one we went into had what we needed. We bought camels, a bag for Dorothy, a scarf for Janet/Heather, a small genie's lamp for me, and it came to 200 AED. The man boxed everything up for us, and we moved on.

It was lunch time by now, and given there was a nice looking restaurant in the centre of the souk, we decided to try that. Only one other table was occupied. The staff were wearing fairly silly fezes, but they were very attentive and incredibly helpful. We had a look at the menu, but didn't want anything heavy, so we asked the man to put together a mezze platter for us. He was only too happy to do so, especially when I specified that I wanted falafel as part of it (their specialty). What they brought out was amazing. Olives to start, then two dips (one with pomegranates), delicious thin, crisp naan bread, falafel and kibbeh with tahini, and a herby salad. So good! And it was cheap (130 AED for both of us, including drinks). Very impressed.

Then it was time to head back to the hotel. I considered buying a nice flowing robe, and asked a price, but decided not to in the end. We found a taxi at the rank, ignoring the offers we had on the street, and headed back, arriving around 1.30.

This left us time to visit the pool before our pick-up for the desert tour at 3.15. We were downstairs in good time, and the Hala 4WD turned up as expected. Prasad mumbled his name to us, and invited us into the almost full vehicle. We had to sit right at the back, but we were assured that seats would be rotated.

We set off, and Prasad gave us some information about the city, mainly about the grid layout at this point. He didn't speak loudly enough, which was annoying, even after we asked him to speak up. He talked about the presidential palace as we passed it, and also about Sheik Zayed and the formation of the UAE. I caught the drift, but knew I'd be able to look it up later, and stopped worrying.

On the way, we passed a car accident on the motorway, and Prasad pulled into a services in case anyone wanted to visit. No one did. After a while, we turned off, driving past an animal market on the slip road that went up and over the motorway. That was the last of the sealed road for a while, and then we were bumping along past sheds into the camel farm.

We turned into one of the yards, and got out of the vehicle. There were camels penned all around, and a few local men looking after them. Prasad told us that we could take some hay from a huge bale and feed the large group of females, so we did. They were nice creatures - very dark-haired compared to what I'd seen pictures of. Nearest the road was the stud male, a huge beast, penned on his own. I asked Prasad why one was penned on its own on the other side of the females, and whether I could feed it. He said I could feed it, and then went off to ask one of the men - he told me it was penned on its own because it was a pregnant female.

Then the other two 4WDs arrived, and the French tour leader said that the camel penned on its own was a young male. I said that Prasad has asked the man, but he waved me off. I didn't believe anything Prasad said after that. I tried to pat the camels, and some let me touch them, but they mostly moved away when they realised I had no more hay. Their teeth protruded, and I didn't want to give them an opportunity to nip me.

While we were talking to the camels, the drivers had let their tyres down, and once back in the car, we took off into the dunes. They started off gently enough, but before long, we were following the French driver up to the edges of huge dunes, and watching his undercarriage as the vehicle vanished over the top. Prasad followed his tyre tracks exactly, and while I wasn't sure if I trusted Prasad, I trusted the French guy, so didn't feel too scared, and luckily I didn't feel sick.

As they surfed down the face of the dune, they braked, but steered carefully, and then accelerated as they reached the bottom. They were pretty good drivers, though Prasad didn't have enough speed to get up one of the dunes, and so we drifted back down backwards, which was pretty scary. Anyway, I survived. At one point, vehicles from another tour crossed our path, and so we steered clear of them. Apparently there are protocols for sharing the dunes with other operators (i.e., like the last vehicle having its hazards on), but the other operator was ignoring them. Grr.

We stopped in a nice spot to take some photos, and French guy took some shots of all the groups through a tree trunk. Christian did some panoramas. It was still quite bright at this point. Before long, we were called back to the cars (it was our turn for the front - Christian let me take the front seat) and we set off again over the dunes. It was slightly better being in the front, because there was a handle to hold on to, and I could see better. Prasad talked about some of the desert trees being used as food because the leaves could be eaten like rice. I asked him what they tasted like, but he had no idea, given he just knew what they told him for the purposes of the tour. His words. Hmmm.

This was a short session before we stopped again for some sunset photos in a high spot. I got a few good shots, and Christian got a silly one of my hand and the sun. We set off again (our turn for the middle), and did a short drive back on sealed road to get to the Emirates camp. We pulled up right at the back of rows of 4WDs, and got out. I think we were the last ones to arrive - it was getting dark. There was sand surfing behind us (though you had to keep running back up the hill, so I gave up on that idea straight away), camels in front, and a big walled enclosure to the left. We went into the enclosure first to find our tables and take a seat.

There were hundreds of people sitting cross-legged on cushions beside low tables covered in bright fabrics. Food and drink was provided, and so Christian began by getting us a drink. There'd been a huge queue for the camel riding, and there was a huge queue for the henna painting as well, so we waited for a better moment for both. At that point, dinner was announced, and everyone ran for that, so we ran for the camels.

There was still a reasonable queue, but we decided to wait it out. The Mexican couple from our 4WD were in the queue in front of us. After about ten minutes, we had our turn, and I got on the front seat and Christian on the back. Christian gave his phone to the guy running it so he could take some photos. I'd been worried about falling off when the camel stood up, but it wasn't as bad as it looked. The walking action was quite soothing and rhythmical, and getting down was fine. The photos that the man took were awful, but it's still a record.

Back inside the enclosure, we had a look at the lone falcon sitting on his perch, without a hood or anything. Before long a man came over, and gave me the cuff to put on my arm, and he placed the falcon on. It was a beautiful bird - it just sat serenely while I gazed at it. Then Christian had a go, and the man told him to wave his arm a bit so the falcon would spread its wings. I got some nice photos. Then he took the falcon back, took the cuff off, and gave Christian a chance with the falcon directly on his arm. Neither Christian nor the falcon were very happy with that state of affairs, and so didn't last long.

After that, I went to the next stall to get a henna tattoo on my hand, as there was no queue at all at this point, while Christian went to get us some food. The tattoo was nice, but not as ornate as some of the Indian ones I've seen. I still enjoyed the opportunity, though the henna was very thick and would take hours to dry.

We met back at the table, and ate. The food was delicious. Tasty meat and rice, and salads, with bread and dip. The chicken wings were bony, but that happens. We were sitting opposite the Mexican couple, and we chatted a bit. They were staying with their son or daughter who worked for Etihad and was living in Etihad staff quarters. Turns out that the man had recently been on an academic sabbatical at Cranfield University UK, which is where Colombian Mark had done his MBA. Small world. They were a nice couple.

Then it was time for the dancing. First a man came out and did a whirling dervish routine with a couple of huge skirts. He was very jolly, and quite clever. They turned the lights off and he had LEDs on his skirts, so it turned into a light show. Christian got a great photo in which he looks like a merry-go-round. He had a few people up to try it as well, and then went off amid applause.

Then it was time for the female belly dancer. She was very good, and knew her moves perfectly. I watched the first dance, and then used the opportunity to visit the facilities. It was odd walking around on sand, and then stepping onto solid floor again. I got us more drinks while I was up. She did a couple more dances, and had a couple of people up to join in too. The bloke was actually not bad, and the woman was good.

And then the entertainment was over. Most people got up to leave, but there was no sign of our tour guides. We found them easily enough near the entrance. At about this time, the camp switched the lights off so that guests could star-gaze. Which meant that everyone trying to stumble around in the dark had to use their phones for illumination. Once we had our group together, we headed for our vehicle.

We got back in the middle seat, and set off. Prasad had pumped up the tyres, and so the section of sand that we had to negotiate to get to the road was a bit scary, because it seemed the only way to do it was to go very fast to get up the slight incline and hope for the best. Not fun, but it didn't last long. Back on the sealed road, we made quick progress back to the city, dropping off the Mexican couple on the way. We chatted to Prasad a little after that. He was from Sri Lanka, and had only recently started working for Hala.

We were soon back at the hotel, and thanked Prasad. As we hadn't had any dessert, we decided that room service was in order. I ordered chocolate cake with vanilla milkshake, and Christian had a strawberry/raspberry milkshake thing. Unfortunately the cake was enormous (Christian had to finish it), and so I felt a bit ill afterwards, but I enjoyed the milkshake.

We probably watched something while eating/drinking, and then turned in for the night around 10pm.

Abu Dhabi, day 2: City tour and swim

We were awake at 7.30, and down to breakfast by about 8.15. It made a huge difference to the queue - breakfast was just a much more enjoyable experience without the hundreds of people. We also got a table inside the actual restaurant instead of out in the foyer.

We were due to be picked up at 8.45 for the city tour we'd booked the previous day, and Ajeeb, in his Desert Rose 4WD, was right on time. We took our seats behind Ajeeb, and continued on to Etihad Towers to pick up the other guests on our tour - a man and his mother from Colombia. It was nice to get a glimpse of the hotel. It looked awfully shiny.

We got underway, heading along the Corniche, and turning right down the middle of the city. I saw a water truck on the way, and asked Ajeeb about where the city's water comes from. He misunderstood my question, and told me about the bottled water, which was interesting anyway. That's trucked from Al Ain, and purified, and bottled. (Turns out that tap water is all desalinated.) Ajeeb also pointed out the World Trade Center towers as we went past.

It was a long drive out to the Mosque, and once there, we had to wait for another vehicle with the other half of the Desert Rose tour entrants. They eventually arrived, and we drove past the security gate and parked up near the entrance. Ajeeb and the other guide had a robe for me to wear - they were concerned about the length of my sleeves, and whether they properly covered my wrists. They finally decided my top was OK, and with my scarf around my head, we headed for the entrance.

There were people checking dress at this point, and my clothing passed muster. The security was quite tight. They x-rayed our bags, and we had to walk through metal detectors. There were separate entrances and screening for men and women, and so I went through with the Colombian woman. She was hard of hearing, and I don't think her English was good, but she was very sweet, and made sure that we stuck together through the process.

Once through, the mosque rose in front of us, brilliant in the sun. We took some photos, and Ajeeb offered to take some of us. In the large outdoor courtyard, the other guide gave us some information about the project and the structure. Essentially, it was commissioned by Sheikh Zayed before he died, and was constructed between 1996 and 2007. Materials were sourced from all around the world - this was a deliberate attempt to bring 'the world' together.

We moved on around the 'cloisters'. At this point, I felt extremely hot and a bit unwell. We stopped to take our shoes off, and were soon inside and under cover, and the delicious cold of the marble floor seeped up to cool me down. I don't think I'd make a very good Muslim.

The first Swarovski chandelier in the entry was beautiful. I'd moved past it with the crowds before I realised that shooting from directly below would make a good photo. I went back to stand under it, and a woman tutted at me because I was ruining her photo of the floor. Taken with a fecking iPhone. Grr.

The main hall was absolutely massive (fits 7,000 people in it apparently), and the carpet within (a rather unsightly green thing) is the largest handmade carpet in the world. The chandeliers in here were pretty garish - bright green, red, and orange beads. The exit of the main hall was like the entrance, with the same chandelier. And then we were outside again.

We found our shoes, and stopped for a rest outside the gift shop. Christian bought me an ice cream, and I took my scarf off my head. Bliss! I draped it loosely back on to get to the car, and then threw it off completely. We took our seats, and were again on our way (Christian took a seat in the back this time).

We took the road on the north east of the city this time (i.e. the opposite sides of the rectangle), which took us past the Eastern Mangroves and the pineapple buildings, before taking us into a tunnel. This brought us out more or less at the port. Ajeeb took us in and we stopped at the row of the markets where the dates and vegetables were. The vegetables weren't interesting, so we just looked at the dates.

We went inside the first shop, and Christian bought some gift boxes of chocolate and almond dates. We wanted some for ourselves as well, so we tasted a few different kinds from the stalls outside, and bought a small container of some very tasty ones indeed, for not very much money.

Back in the car, we tried to get back on the road, but found it suddenly jammed with trucks. We needed to turn right, which meant going around a two-lane roundabout to go in the direction we needed. It took about ten minutes to get around, with much horn honking involved. At the next traffic lights, we discovered why. There'd been a car accident, and there was a smashed up car sitting in the median strip against the traffic lights.

We were soon back on the Corniche, and heading back towards the marina. Ajeeb told us a little about himself. He is from India, and his work permit was fairly easy to get. Seems he earns enough over winter to be able to go back to India over summer for a holiday.

Our final stop was at Heritage Village. Ajeeb took us past Marina Mall, and did a loopy right turn to get onto the right road. We parked, and walked past an impossibly tall flagpole, to the entrance to Heritage Village - a reconstructed piece of Arab culture in its various forms.

We saw animals, and wood, leather, and metal working. Christian and I went into a carpet weaving workshop, and watched the man for a while - he seemed to be the only one doing anything. He was weaving about five small carpets at once on a large loom. He saw that I was watching him closely and invited me to have a go with the comb that he was pushing the wool down with. I had a go, and then he invited me to sit, which was a bit weird. I had a go moving the pedals, but couldn't do more than that. When I got up, he took us to show us the completed carpets, saying that they were made of wool woven from camel hair. There were small ones for 100 AED, and so I felt like we should buy one. The design was of a camel with a sunset backdrop - it was nice enough, and it was nice to support this guy.

We also looked at a sample dwelling, and a small museum (which showed a fascinating black and white photo from the 1960s of traditional life), but passed on the bit of 'desert' as I didn't want to get sand in my shoes. There were market stalls with nice clothing and shoes, but I didn't buy anything. Christian bought some postcards.

Then it was time to go back to the car. Ajeeb dropped us off first, and we said goodbye to him, and to the nice Colombians (the man, Mark/Marc, worked in gold mining, and they certainly were not short of money).

It was 1pm, and definitely time for lunch. Back in the room, we chose some items from the room service menu - I chose penne pasta alfredo, and Christian chose a club sandwich. It was delivered on a tray, which opened out into a round table, complete with crisp white tablecloth. Brilliant! The pasta was disappointing and flavourless, but the club sandwich was pretty impressive.

The morning's exertions had taken it out of Christian, and he decided to have a sleep (he wasn't feeling very well). I decided to go to the pool. I got ready, and headed out. The cleaning staff accosted me on the way, asking if they could clean. I told them no, as Christian was asleep, and that around 7pm would be best. I got my towel on the way. I got a sun lounge on the beach side this time, but didn't go into the beach. The pool didn't feel as warm today - I enjoyed a brief dip, and then lay in the sun for about an hour. It was nice. I hadn't put suncream on this time, and didn't expect to burn. I didn't, but I did get a little bit of colour.

I went back upstairs, and found Christian still in bed. He decided he wanted a swim at this point, and so we set the room to 'please make me up' and headed out. On the way, Christian bought a pair of thongs from the beach shop. I didn't want to swim again, but I waited while Christian did. We didn't stay long, returning to the room soon after. The room service trolley was gone, but the room hadn't been made up. We watched a bit of TV and relaxed, munching on baklava and dates.

We decided on dinner in Horizon downstairs, as they were having a Chinese theme night. The cost was 170 AED (before various taxes). I put on a dress, and didn't bother to cover my shoulders. I felt self-conscious, but others had done the same. The buffet was OK - they had duck and some nice Chinese dishes, and the desserts were very nice. But it was vastly overpriced. It was worth trying once.

We had some more TV after dinner, and probably some chocolates, then went to bed.

Abu Dhabi, day 1: Exploring the hotel and walk to Marina Mall

We had a late start after a monster of a day the day before, having showers and getting down to breakfast just after 10. There was a queue to get tables, so we decided to get there earlier in future.

The breakfast was very good. Cereals, muffins, fruit, yoghurt, the usual fry-up suspects, eggs on demand, waffles, pancakes, breads, Chinese breakfast, and they brought tea and coffee to us.

After breakfast, we took it easy, and just got our bearings and explored the hotel. It was 21 floors in a big teardrop shape, with two lifts descending through the internal space (and two more opposite). There were both male and female hair salons, a cafe in the lobby, gift shops, a Belgian chocolate shop that wasn't open, squash courts, massive gym and weights rooms, and a beach shop. We had a walk around the beach, which was fairly impressive - the sand was soft, and the frontage really quite wide. Christian had his beard trimmed as I'd unpacked his clippers by mistake before leaving. I read the documentation that blokey at the airport had given us about Expedia support - there were a number of activities offered.

Lunchtime came round, and we ordered a room service caesar salad to complement the dinner leftovers in our fridge. It worked out perfectly. Then it was time to meet Michael from Alpha Tours at 1pm. He arrived early, and called up to the room. We hurried down to meet him.

He was a friendly and personable bloke, and knowledgeable and happy to help. We had thought about doing the city tour, and we also asked about the dhow dinner cruise. I asked him about dress code, and also about where to find the best souks and good drinks. He recommended Ray's bar in Jumeira (and to say that he says hi). We ended up booking the city tour for the following morning (as we wanted to go to the mosque and heritage village anyway), and the dhow cruise for the Friday night.

With our holiday a lot more sorted out schedule-wise, we decided that it would be rude not to explore the pool/beach and have a swim. We applied sun cream, and went downstairs. At the 'beach club' desk, we signed out two red towels, and went in search of sunbeds. There was a scuba try dive happening at the deep end of the pool. We found two next to the pool (none free on the beach side), and ventured over the back to the beach. As usual, Christian got straight in, but I found the water really quite cold. I did eventually get in, but it took ages. As it was essentially a shipping canal, roped for swimming, it got very deep very quickly, which is probably why it was so cold.

We sampled the pool immediately after, and I found it unpleasantly warm in comparison. Still, we stayed in for a while, and explored the gradient from shallow to deep. I stayed for a while in the sun to dry out, while Christian went back to the room.

I wanted to check out at least one of the malls, and Christian wanted to talk to Du about increasing his data allowance. I also needed a top that would be suitable for the mosque, without being too warm, so we decided to walk to Marina Mall, which wasn't very far away. On the way, we had a brief stop to take some photos at the entrance to the Emirates Palace Hotel - the most stupidly expensive hotel in Abu Dhabi. The walk was easy enough, if not very picturesque. We were on the opposite side of the road to the Corniche, but we were next to a lush, green cricket ground for a time.

As we approached, we saw the signs for Shake Shack, and decided to get a drink there. Christian had an absolutely huge blueberry lemonade, and I had a 'black and white' shake. As a combination of vanilla and chocolate, it turned out as a sort of gentle chocolate. It was very nice, though, if very sweet.

We then went in search of Du, which was immediately next door, but we went the long way. Christian sorted out his SIM and got more data. As I was waiting, I looked out on the water and the Eye-style big wheel. We then had an explore, looking for tops for me, and non-coffee-stained white linen shirts for Christian. I was also keeping an idle eye on shoes.

The mall was huge, and difficult to sweep in a systematic way. We eventually ended up at the bounce trampoline end, where most of the restaurants were. We found a few good contenders, and then realised that the lift went up into the Jetsons-style tower that we had seen from afar. The top floor was a restaurant, and the next floor down was a cafe. We weren't able to look without buying something, so we decided to go back for dinner later.

We kept wandering for a while, and I finally bought a top in H&M. There were an awful lot of high-end designer shops there. After making our way back to the tower, we took the lift to the cafe floor, and waited for someone to take us to a table. We waited so long that we went to find one of only two people on duty. She told us to sit wherever we liked. It took a while to place an order, but the food came quickly enough. It wasn't anything special, but it was cheap. I had a pepperoni pizza, and Christian had chicken enchiladas. We paid the bill, and headed back down.

My feet were hurting from my not-very-practical footwear (Greek sandals), and we were fairly tired, so voted for a taxi back to the hotel. It cost 8 AED, which we rounded up to 10 (£2.22). Yep, taxis are cheap.

We watched some TV. Christian was convinced that he'd left his fold-up mouse at the Hilton at Heathrow, and had tweeted to them to let them know. He was going to email when I asked whether he was sure, and whether he'd like me to do a double check for him. He invited me to check, and there it was in his computer bag. Oops. I practiced doing my scarf for our visit to the mosque the next day. We had a much earlier night than the night before.

Christmas escape: Flight to Abu Dhabi

Our alarm went off in the hotel at 5.30. It hurt. I had a lingering migraine, and felt really rough, especially after the racket coming from the room next door from 1am to 2am. It really didn't feel like Christmas day.

We packed up and got ourselves downstairs by 6am, in time for the hotel hoppa shuttle at 6.11. Christian's complaints about the noise the night before fell on deaf ears. Nice.

The bus arrived, and we were dropped at terminal 4 with no fuss; we took the lift to departures to drop off our luggage. At the business desk, we asked about an upgrade, and the woman shrugged and told us that it didn't matter how many points we had, because they were just handing out upgrades anyway. Wasn't going to complain. She gave us the last two centre seats (right at the back) so we could talk to each other, and we toddled off with our shiny boarding passes, very pleased with the world.

We went through security and passport control, and towards the business lounge, me still shuffling along rather pathetically. We took seats in the lounge, and relaxed for a while. We both chose eggs benedict for breakfast, and I had two cups of tea, gradually feeling human. Christian went off to buy tissues, because he'd got the traditional holiday sniffles already, and came back with some discounted chocolates from Harrods as well.

Boarding was called, and we made our way up the stairs (me slowly), and walked straight through the gate onto the top deck of the plane - yay! We had the obligatory glass of bubbly (only a few sips for me), and played with the massage settings on the seats. Cabin crew took our orders for lunch, and we settled in for the flight.

There were no people sitting around us or in front of us at all. It felt like we had the plane to ourselves. Amazing. We both watched the new Ghostbusters (it was good), and then it was time for lunch. I had tomato soup to start (yum), and grilled fish, with a chocolate mousse log for desssert. Very tasty. Then I put my seat down flat to rest. I managed to get an hour or two of sleep.

I was woken by the announcement that we were commencing our descent. We landed in Abu Dhabi at 8pm. Passport control was quick, and we got our visa stamp with no problems. Luggage also didn't take too long. Christian was right that Abu Dhabi is primarily a transit airport - no one else was leaving here. It was very odd to be following the signs to the exit, when we'd always gone via transit before.

After coming out of the funnel into the real world, we found the man holding the sign with our name on it fairly easily. He straight away passed us to another man, who handed us an Expedia welcome pack, and told us that we had an appointment to meet a rep the next day at 1pm. He then told me to wait for another man, while Christian went off to get a Du SIM for his phone.

That man showed up, and I told him that Christian wouldn't be long. He went outside briefly, and when he came back, Christian was finished. He then passed us on to another man, who took us to the road and showed us into a car driven by another man. Is such complexity really required?!

Anyway, it was an easy drive to the hotel, and we saw the beautifully lit Grand Mosque on the way. At the hotel, helpful people took our luggage away the instant we got out of the car, and we went to find the check-in desk, and were greeted and guided there (somewhat redundantly) by yet more staff. The foyer was brilliantly lit with huge hanging chandeliers, a giant Christmas tree, and a gingerbread house. The floor was gleaming marble and the furniture plush lounges.

We checked in without difficulty - the man we spoke to was very kind and friendly. He directed us to the lifts and told us to go to the seventh floor. The room was huge, and faced the sea (which I didn't expect), and everything was new and solid and high quality. The view out over the Emirates Palace and the presidential palace were pretty spectacular, and we spent some time trying to get good photos out the window. We unpacked, and went back downstairs in search of food.

We decided to eat at Kamoon, which is their Arabic restaurant, next to the pool. We chose an outside table, and took our seats. There was dew everywhere, and the woman taking our orders kept wiping the tables down. It was also quite cool, which was unexpected. There was a big group at a table near us smoking shisha pipes, but apart from the odd waft, it wasn't a problem. I thought it might be fun to try, but in the end, we didn't get the chance.

We chose a reasonably priced three-course set meal. To drink, I ordered cranberry juice, and Christian a pomegranate mojito (which was spectacularly good for a non-alcoholic drink). First they brought us olives, with a couple of dips and bread (which I thought was the mini-mezze). Then the actual mini-mezze, with falafel and lamb mince kibbeh, vine leaves, (really good) tabbouleh, and three more dips. We were brought more bread to go with that. Then came a huge main of chicken and chips, and vege pizza. Then baklava. It was an obscene amount of food, but extremely good. We took most of my main and all the dessert in a box back up to the room.

By now, we were exhausted, but it was still fairly early UK time. We eventually went to bed at 1am, when in hindsight, we should have adjusted to the new time zone by having a much earlier night. Oh well.

Parkrun 13: 32.09. Age-graded: 47.85%

It was an effort to get myself down the hill this morning, and so I wasn't expecting any great performance from my run.

I took off fairly fast, but struggled on the way up the dyke. The far field felt OK, but then back over the dyke and around the Rye again felt slow and hard. I'd had too many three-course meals while on holiday this week, and probably wasn't properly hydrated.

I'm glad I didn't slip any further, but had to get out there this week, as I'll miss next week due to Bucks band. I'll make sure I run on Christmas eve. Hopefully faster than today.

Parkrun 12: 31.26. Age-graded: 48.94%

So this was my second run back after a four-week hiatus. I was hoping to at least match my PB, so was pleased to better it, if only by eight seconds. Perhaps the more impressive statistic is that I took 37 seconds off my time from last week.

I took off strongly, and only started feeling tired just before 3km. I took it a little easy on the way back over the dyke, but then stayed fairly strong to the end.

On the way back around the Rye, I was pacing with a man who started talking to me. Turns out he was visiting from Sydney. We had a quick chat before he decided he couldn't keep up with me, but was keeping a fairly good pace (which I suspect he thought I was setting, and I thought he was setting).

I didn't have much left in the tank for a sprint to the finish.